The simple task of electing a commissioner for the Village and the adjoining Township, to join the local government’s county commission, has become a small embarrassment, and no one felt the sting more violently, and as many times, as our own Patricia Kowalic.
We covered the recruitment of Mitch Hartley, as both a Republican and Democrat, in last week’s report, here. That report caused no small stir here in the snowy north of Michigan. So this week we bring you The Letter, as locals now refer to it. Written by Patricia Kowalic, whom we referenced in last week’s report as our county clerk, The Letter, shed much new light on how the fiasco came to pass.
Born here on the Peninsula, in our own hospital, before it was merged into oblivion by healthcare parasites, Patricia Kowalik owned several local records that people normally did not take seriously, but their quantity and quality in her case were unequaled: Most consecutive days of school, (Kindergarten through half of Ninth Grade, or 1,729 days, until she got the chicken pox); Most consecutive days of work at the government building, various roles, (9,797 until she was thrown ten feet in the air by an avalanche of snow from the county snow removal truck after she retrieved her mail). These are but two examples. Entire recent evenings were spent by the locals reminiscing about these and other accomplishments, some of which seemed a little concocted as the hours passed and the brown bottles emptied. We’re not sure about the ice fishing records, nor the 236 trips down Williams’ toboggan slide on a cafeteria lunch tray. But suffice to say that the women was a credible local institution of constancy, hard work, good humor and measurable results.
Her husband Ed owned the local weld and machine shop and was as popular, even as beloved, as his wife, for he had saved many a farmer’s crop with quick, uncannily well done work that put required machinery back in the field without missing a click, and sometimes done in the middle of the night under really unbelievable circumstances.
We offer the previous to help explain why the The Letter had such impact as it did, here on the peninsula. We copied the The Letter in total from our local newspaper, and reprint below without permission or further explication. Let us also note that if Mike Singletary, Esquire, Barrister at Law, or whatever romantic moniker the old beer swill calls himself these days as legal beagle for the aforementioned newspaper, continues to harass us, he’ll soon find the local taps will need the tab paid in full before service resumes. Put that in your pipe and smoke it!
Without further ado, The Letter:
To All Concerned Citizens: As the County Clerk these past 14 years it has been my job and privilege to help document the election processes in our beloved county. Recently a county commission seat election raised a great deal of consternation, and a great many engorged proboscises, when a single candidate landed on the ballot under a new party name. Let me assure you that as a private citizen I am also amazed at what’s taken place; but as the county clerk I followed the letter of the law as I understood it from our own legal representative. I did not make the decisions which led to the current state of affairs with just me and Mr. Mitchel Hartley behind closed doors as many residents appear to believe. To the contrary, Mr. Hartley, the county, and both the local Republican and Democrat Parties were represented by counsel. Mr. Hartley, to his credit was very well versed in election law and not, I repeat Not, inebriated at the time of the recording of candidates. All legal points made by Mr. Hartley were given their proper vetting but in the end none of the lawyers present could master an argument against them. As a result we have the current situation where one candidate runs for the County Commission seat under a party none of us has heard of before. We are all victims here of a system we allowed the lawyers take over, and only they, or a few others with a great deal of law experience, can understand and successfully navigate, rumpenda culi. I’m leaving for retirement tomorrow, and wish you all the best.
